Finally, I’ve officially launched Kick Ass Letters, a crowdsourced weekly email challenge series to help people take action towards self-growth and personal development.
I decided to create this project for many reasons, but the main one was to ultimately help people who may be struggling to find motivation and purpose in life.
Why?
Because this was me.
It wasn’t until I made a choice back in 2017 to quit my job and backpack Southeast Asia that I felt alive again. I felt like I could do something that was beyond being a corporate drone.
I also decided to create this project because I understand what it’s like to be depressed and sad feeling unfulfilled.
I lived many, many years in depression and sadness after the loss of both parents and a younger sister. I never opened up about this to friends because I always felt like a burden.
That’s another reason I created this project.
Community.
I wanted to create something special for others to learn, grow and perhaps even make friends.
Life’s just too fucking short to live in anger, sadness and political bullshit.
So my hope and goal with Kick Ass Letters is to make people feel alive again and live with a sense of purpose.
But I’m also aware many won’t understand or come along with this journey.
And that’s okay.
I hope in time more and more people will join this movement.
The world has seen enough suffering, and I hope we can all fight together and embrace each other.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been struggling with my identity.
Social media has questioned me on what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. E.g. why do I get so damn bothered when someone unfollows me?
I’ve found myself on LinkedIn and Twitter posting things that were sometimes true to my heart and sometimes only to gain followers.
And it had me thinking…why?
Why does it matter?
In the end, we only have one life. It could be long, could be short. We could die tomorrow.
And should it be spent trying to mask ourselves to please others?
The answer is clearly no.
So I’ve decided to be myself, my true self.
Who am I?
I’m a proud father, husband, fighter, orphan, entrepreneur and brother.
I’ve dealt with my fair share of tragedies, fuck ups and regrets.
At my core, I’m a fighter who’s struggled with adversity and hardship all my life. That’s why I got into MMA in the first place.
Yet, I care and empathize deeply with others.
I loved this recent video made by Noah of OkDork/Appsumo on therapy as well as his recent podcast with Lori Gottlieb.
We need more of this, and I was sad to hear that this video didn’t do as well as his other videos. Noah – if you’re reading this by any chance, please continue putting these kinds of videos out.
Finally, if you ever want to chat via Zoom/Meet, hit me up. I’m always up to meet new people.
Thank you for making it this far. I hope you’re safe and doing well.
Till next time. ?
P.s. I’m launching a new project that actually excites me. It’s called Kick Ass Letters, and my mission with it is to empower everybody to learn and grow through weekly email challenges.
You can refer to the link to learn more about why I’m doing this. And if you’re interested in checking it out or even helping shape the project, check out the link above. Thanks!
While driving to buy groceries, my wife and I were having conversation about how people change their careers. Some either move into an adjacent career, or some move into completely new ones.
Then my wife said to me, “You managed to reinvent yourself though.”
It had me thinking, what does it mean to reinvent yourself. So I looked it up.
The meaning of reinvent
Merriam Webster dictionary defines reinvent as the following:
to make as if for the first time something already invented
to remake or redo completely
to bring into use again
The second definition resonated.
To remake or redo completely….
It had me thinking about my career and what I had done up to this point.
For nearly a decade, I was working in corporate finance, managed multiple promotions in a short time span, collected bonuses and praise, and received options.
But I was never happy.
After working from 7am to 7pm, I would often come home and ask myself, “What am I doing?”.
I was having an existential moment every day I came home.
Then in 2017, I was laid off.
Yes, admittedly I was angry and upset. But a part of me was also relieved and happy. For nearly a decade, I wanted out of this career. And then it happened.
How entrepreneurship enabled me to reinvent myself
After backpacking in 2017 with my wife throughout Southeast Asia, we were having deep conversations about the direction of our lives.
Do we go back to corporate? Do we take another comfy job? Do we do something completely different?
These are hard choices to think about.
But after reading the book “The Everything Store”, a biography on Jeff Bezos and Amazon and one of my favorite books, it gave me the realization that we only have one life–this life.
We have this one life to live and make it our own.
So I decided that entrepreneurship was going to be my path.
Since taking this path, I’ve learned and gained the following skills:
How to close deals with prospects
How to build a website
How to build sales and marketing funnels
How to create engaging social posts
How to set up analytics to analyze web performance
How to project manage using scrum and agile frameworks
How to manage remote teams and build team culture
How to create automated workflows using no code
How to leverage my time for maximum efficiency (i.e. no more 40 hour work weeks)
I save every website I read and learn from. This is just a few of them here.
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned over the past couple of years. But I’ve been so happy. Words can’t describe how much better I feel since taking this path.
I feel like I’m in college all over again.
You can reinvent yourself too
I strongly believe that at some point we become accustom to our lifestyles.
We take that corporate career path, we work our 9-5 shift, we collect our paycheck, then we rinse and repeat.
We don’t think about the possibility that there could be something else.
Fear has overridden us. We take the path of least resistance.
I thought this way for so long. And it wasn’t until being laid off that I realized how big this world is and the opportunities that are out there.
It’s vast.
You can reinvent yourself too. Ask yourself the following:
Am I happy in this career path I’m in?
Do I actually like this work that I do?
Does it align with my values in life?
What are my values in life?
If I died in the next 5 years, would I do something different?
These simple questions can help determine if you’re truly happy in the path you’re in.
You may be, you might not be. But it’ll manifest if you take the time to ask. Feel free to use a free tool like XMind to create a mind map, which I found to be extremely valuable.
I did this, and it was the best thing for me personally.
Final thoughts
In the end, this is our only life.
Time is the only commodity we can’t make more of. When the time passes, it’s gone. This alone should make us think about what we truly value with our time.
If there’s this burning desire inside of you that’s begging for a change, consider it. Seriously consider it.
It will be scary, it will be daunting.
But remember this — this is our life. We have a choice.
Reinvent yourself. Become the person you want to be.
Above all else, be happy. Because that’s what matters.
It was February 2017, a fair day with the sun out shining bright like any other normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I drove into work in my 2012 Honda Civic with its few bumps and bruises and parked in my normal spot (2nd floor to get a nice early workout in).
For the past few weeks, we’d been told of the news that the hyper-growth company I worked for would be going through a potential restructuring due to platform strategy failures. It was certainly tough news as many of us were gung-ho on its platform potential to change the company into a Amazon-like juggernaut. I certainly was.
For months, this platform business unit was humming along and teams were realigned to push the priorities in building out the platform. Our team in Corporate Finance were tasked with a variety of functions, most notably on “product economics”. Simply, we wanted to ensure what was being produced made financial sense, i.e. do we make a profit.
As months went on, we went from a team driving new changes to support the platform to reconciling data. Said another way, we were glorified accountants–again.
As few more weeks went on, the writing was on the wall. Our roles and responsibilities were changing, and we were hearing less from leadership.
Being self-aware, I could sense another restructuring.
And sure enough. ?
The restructuring and what follows
On February 2017, the restructuring happens.
The night before I had a great conversation with my former Finance VP and learned that I would be part of this exercise. I also learned he would be included as well.
“Amazing…” is what I thought to myself. After nearly 5 years, more than 10,000 hours invested and various promotions throughout the company, and being told of job security in a number of conversations, there I was, in a boxed room with HR and my former manager.
“I’m so sorry, but today is your last day with the company.”
It was really difficult to hear this from a company that I devoted so much to and believed in truly. Nonetheless, I respectfully understood the decision and wished the team well.
And then there I was, standing outside the building with one box with my things and staring back. “Well that was fun” as I walked back towards my car.
In less than 20 minutes, I was back home. ?♂️
You make a choice and you move forward
I spent that week taking a step back to relax my mind and to cool off. After all, I was away from the work I didn’t enjoy doing and this would be a great opportunity to focus on other things.
But what other things? ?
After one week, I whipped out my OneNote (free note-taking tool) and started jotting ideas and thoughts that included:
What do I want next?
What job do I want to do?
What company would I want to work for?
How can I leverage this time to do something more meaningful?
What next?
After spending a few hours writing my thoughts out, I realized a few things I never thought about. For example, I really wanted to try my hand at personal training. For anyone who knows me well knows that I’m extremely passionate about MMA (mixed martial arts) and sports.
So one week after being laid off, I randomly applied to be a boxing personal trainer at a local gym. After some discussions I was hired and off I went. It was exciting! I was training adults who were looking to get in shape and to let off steam. I was finally doing something I actually enjoyed. ?
Next, I decided that I needed to read more and expand myself. Admittedly, I did little to no reading prior to this–not unless you include Medium articles and blogs.
Similar to my thought note-taking, I wrote down a list of books I wanted to read, went to the library and rented a few. It was an easy decision, but one I had pushed back for so many years. ?
It was also at this time I asked myself, “What do I want to do before I die?” Yes, it’s grim. But it’s a real, honest question that most never ask themselves.
After some thinking, I decided it would be backpacking. I’d always longed for it, so I spoke with my wife and we decided we would do it. Not in 10 years, not in 5 years…this year. Yup, it was going to happen.
Received an offer from Amazon and why I turned it down
Around June 2017, I received a LinkedIn message with a potential opportunity to join Amazon. Funny enough, it was going to be a role managing their Promotional Products line, the same group I supported in my prior role.
I decided to jump at the opportunity because it was, well, Amazon. Who wouldn’t want to work for Amazon, right?
So I moved forward with the process, submitted my resume, and thankfully received an interview. The first round was a screening with the hiring manager. After passing that stage, I received an invite to come onsite to meet the team and go through a rigorous interview process. I was just glad they were going to pay for my flight and hotel costs.
On the day of the interview, I went through 5 very long and intense interviews with various leaders of the group. I did the typical behavioral questions such as “Why me, what would you do in XXX scenario, etc.”, but the part of the interview I really enjoyed was the case study. They had me whiteboard what my process would be for launching and validating a new product idea for Amazon. (Answer: test small location, validate, then expand ?).
About a week after the interview process and submitted references, I received an email with the header “Congratulations!”
My Amazon offer email letter
Most would feel excited and just glad to have a job. It is the normal reaction after all.
But for some reason, I felt empty and a bit dead inside. I felt dread and anxiety. I kept wondering why I was feeling this way.
And then I remembered.
It was because I was about to enter the corporate world again. I was about to enter the world of politics, bickering, back-stabbing and restructurings. I also wondered, “What if I invest thousands of hours again only to receive the same fate as I did at my previous company?”
So I made a decision, albeit a hard one. I rejected their offer. And surprisingly, I didn’t feel bad. It felt good.
For once, I trusted my gut. ?
What the journey has been like since being a corporate employee
In short, amazing.
No longer do I wake up with dread, anxiety and a sense of emptiness.
No longer do I count the hours till when I can really start living (it’s the weekends).
No longer do I feel like I have to put up a mask and say yes to everything (I had a hard time saying no).
Instead, I feel so alive now. I wake up with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. I wake up wanting to work, wanting to move forward, wanting to learn.
I wake up knowing I control my destiny.
Ultimately, what I never realized until I was laid off, I wake up knowing I own my time.
Time.
Because in the end, time is what matters. We can’t make more of it. It’s the ultimate commodity that can’t be replaced.
Today, I run my own business with my wife called A4E. We are a 100% fully remote accounting practice that offers a complete done-for-you bookkeeping, tax preparation and guidance, and CFO service solutions for small businesses.
I feel an incredible sense of control and happiness knowing every day my wife and I control our future, our own time, and that we can make a real difference for our customers and founders. We could also give back to the community, something that I’m passionate about.
In addition to my business, I’m also a board member for Level Ground MMA, an amazing non-profit managed by Ali Fuller. Ali is one of the very few people I’m amazed and inspired by and was the main reason I wanted to support her mission. That mission being: supporting and helping our Boston youth who are disadvantaged by offering career advancement opportunities, mentorship and guidance, martial arts classes and so much more.
Finally, I forgot to include. We did manage to complete that backpacking trip! ?
I’ll save for another detailed post, but in a nutshell, for a couple months in late 2017 we traveled throughout Southeast Asia. It was such an incredible experience and one that I will be experiencing again very soon. We ate so much delicious food, met amazing people, were touched by heartfelt stories and even almost got run down by rabid dogs.
Yeah…that was scary. ?
So where do we go from here?
Honestly, I can’t say.
But what I can say is I’m infinitely happier than I ever was prior to that point in my life.
I had faced a number of tragedies and painful work experiences throughout the past decade.
In 2009, I painfully lost my sister. When I opened up to my Fortune 500 company talent manager about the experience, I was told to “think about the starving kids in Africa”.
Imagine that. In a world where we are told to empathize with others, I was told this. I was broken; I thought to myself no one cared.
Nonetheless, I was glad to experience that. It made me who I am today. I realized that day that I would never be like her. That if anyone came to me with a story, I would be all ears. That’s what true empathy is.
Thank you for reading up this point ?
In closing, for anyone on the fence about their corporate careers and doubting where they want to go, do this one simple exercise: journal.
Write down your thoughts, wishes, dreams, goals. Be honest, be brutally honest with yourself. Are you happy? Are you doing what you love? What do you value?
When you do, you’ll realize what’s most important to you. Then it just comes down to actions.
Thank you so much for reading. It’s really tough for me to open up, but as a new parent, I know I need to. I don’t want to become bitter and angry as I get older–no one does.
If you found this helpful or enjoyed it, it would mean so much to me if you could share it ?.
Thank you again, stay well and stay safe. Till next time.
Today is May 28th, 2018, and it is wet, cold, and cloudy outside.
It will have been 14, 12, and 9 years ago respectively since you all passed away. We were left alone, abandoned, and hopeless. And when we thought we would have relatives or family to shoulder on, no one was there. No, instead we were told we were the reasons why they died, that we were the reasons our parents didn’t raise us well. I never forgot.
But here I am, after so many years, still alive and pushing forward. I’ve shed many tears, endured many hopeless nights, and anguished in so much pain. I thought about ending my life on more than a few occasions because the pain was too much.
And yet, here I am.
In the last decade, I’ve had friendships sour, learned new skills, got married, and took on mixed martial arts (and competed). I thought I had some good connections, made friends at work, and thought I was doing right by the company. Yet, I was still laid off.
And yet, here I am.
To FutureMe, life will suck. It will continue to beat you down, shove you into the corner, and wail at you till you break. But you won’t give in, just like in the gym, regardless of the pain, the blood, the broken bones. You need to see this through, no matter how much life throws at you.
You will cry, be sad, and feel alone. But you will come out of this. And you will try to be a better person for yourself and love the people you currently have in your life.
Remember, life will always suck. But stay happy, be strong, and fight forward. Enjoy the small moments, let it soak in.
Every year when this day comes I feel a mix of emotions. Those emotions can range on one end of happiness and excitement to the other of sadness, depression and loneliness.
You may ask, why’s that?
When I was fifteen-turning-sixteen, I witnessed the passing and death of my mother. I watched the very last second she was declared deceased by the doctor.
It was the most gut-wrenching pain I ever went through at that point in my life. She was struggling in the worst of ways, and there I was, a kid, and could do nothing to help save her.
Up to that point, she was never a happy person and struggled with her own bouts of depression. I had always thought as a kid, “Am I the reason?”
No kid or child should ever have to question that to themselves.
Fast forward more than 15 years later, I am now married to the most incredible woman with a son of our own. Never in my wildest dreams did I envision being a parent or father.
But here we are and I feel so incredibly lucky. My wife and son bring me so much joy to the world, and the thought of them suffering at all breaks my heart.
Although Mother’s Day is a day that opens up a mix of moments for me, it’s also a reminder to be thankful to those who have stayed close all these years. It’s meant so much, and people who struggle with depression will appreciate it.
The recent news of Kobe Bryant’s passing left me shocked and numb. I was speechless. I just stared at the news for what felt like hours.
One of the biggest superstars in sports history perished in an instant. And not only that, but he had his daughter with him.
Hearing the news that his daughter was with him had me in tears. What were they thinking in those very final moments? How did Kobe feel knowing he couldn’t do anything? What’s it like knowing your life is about to end?
Dealing with everyday life
We go through our daily lives, working tirelessly to meet our personal and financial obligations; but when you hear news like this, you have to wonder what it’s all for.
Life can end in a instant. Everything that felt so important, such as material things, no longer matters.
How can they when you lose the ones you love?
Losing loved ones is never easy
Long ago, I lost my parents in a similar shocking way that left me bitter, angry and traumatized. It took me a long time to cope with the events and to accept that I had to move on.
Saying goodbye to the ones you love is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. No one ever expects to lose loved ones so early, or ever really.
But when it happens, it has a profound effect on your life. It changes you. It makes you think and behave differently.
As a new father myself, I can’t imagine what life would be like for my son if I were to pass. He has his mother’s side of the family, but there is no one on mine. It’s because of this that I need to be here for him. It’s what gets me moving everyday with a purpose.
Reach out to your loved ones
Please, please take time out of your day to say how much you love the people that are important in your life. Let them know how much they mean to you. Catch up with loved ones that you may have been out of touch.
Eventually, we all will face a similar fate–death. But until then, cherish and love the ones around you.
And just like that, we’re entering into December and inching closer to the next year.
As I reflect on 2019, I realize just how much those around me have helped me in my personal and professional life. I’m very thankful to everyone who continues to support me. I wanted to make an effort to let them know by sending out personalized emails and texts, letting them know how they’ve made a difference in my life.
If you haven’t already, I recommend doing so as well. It reminds us of how the people who have made a connection in our lives go out of their way to help us, to share their stories and to lend their support.
With that, thank you for everyone that’s been a part of my life. You’ve done so much, and they have not gone unnoticed.
Finally, I’m wishing you nothing but the best! Here’s to another great year!
There’s 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week, and 8,760 in a year.
If we think about it, we spend most of our time either sleeping or working, with the rest of it spent on frivolous things like video games or watching tv. Not much productivity there.
After my backpacking trip in 2017, I wanted to be more intentional with my time, specifically around accomplishing goals. And not just any goals, but goals I’ve had for years (as far as back as college even).
So what did that mean?
I needed a system, something to hold me accountable, and something I could measure with data.
There’s two tools I use today and everyday to track my goals and tasks. They help me measure whether or not I’m doing the things I need to do to get to my goals, to live the life I want to and to be extremely intentional with my time.
They are: Clickup and Toggl.
With Clickup, I set up my goals under the goals tab in addition to creating a folder like this:
This system has allowed me to constantly review and track what I’m doing to ensure I’m getting a) the most out of my time and b) getting me closer to the life I want.
With Toggl, I’m able to integrate time tracking directly with Clickup and measure how long each tasks takes. Take a look below:
So to wrap it up, being intentional with your time is extremely crucial in being able to accomplish your goals, being more productive, and living the life you want.
Tools like Clickup and Toggl help us to hold us accountable and measure our progress.
We’re in 2019, and it’s already October. Still time left to set out your goals and accomplish them. ?
Left was me in 2010 where I let myself go, gained nearly 20 lbs and was at my highest weight ever. Right is when I decided to make a change and work out.
What is motivation?
So how do you be motivated to workout? What is motivation?
Motivation is derived from the word motive which is defined as a need that requires satisfaction – Wikipedia.
Motivation is something I’ve always struggled with, and I know many others around the world has well. When life hits with you with so many blows, its extremely hard to stay motivated and keep doing the things you’re supposed to do, such as chores, going to work, working out, etc.
An area that we all struggle with regardless of age is the motivation to workout.
Why is working out so hard
So why is working out so hard for so many of us, yet we know its important for our longevity?
Simply, it’s due to motivation.
It’s extremely hard to be and stay motivated to work out when you’ve worked a 9+ hour work shift. It’s hard to stay motivated after you’ve been at a job you hate for years. It’s hard to stay motivated when you’ve tried all the workouts out there and have stayed the same weight. And it’s really hard to stay motivated when you’ve tried diets and the stubborn belly fat remains.
Here are some ways to be motivated to workout
Similar to many out there, I’ve struggled with motivation and my image for a very long time. When I was in middle school, a girl I liked said, “Eww he’s fat”. That’s a sure way to kill your self-image!
Nevertheless, I made a vow I would take control of the situation and keep my health in check. Here are just the few of the ways I do it and still do it today:
Measure everything – quite simply, open up a google sheet doc or Excel and track your weight, your workouts, length of workouts, and mood. This has made a huge difference for me as I can personally see the progress.
Workouts don’t have to be an hour long – we get caught in thinking that if a workout isn’t at least an hour long, we aren’t burning anything. False! You can do a simple HIIT workout in less than 30 minutes that can burn more than an hour jog.
Music is huge! – I personally listen to uplifting music and speeches to keep me motivated. For example, I love the song “Born Ready” by Zayde Wolf. Talk about motivating!
Find a workout you love that doesn’t feel like a workout – if you’re anything like me, I HATE jogging. Absolutely hate, but it’s also probably due to me having shin splints. I get around this by doing simple HIIT workouts like shadowboxing in conjunction with burpees and sprawls. As an MMA fighter, I love these workouts because not only do you work on your skills, but you’re also burning calories. Double win!
Don’t beat yourself up
If you miss a workout here and there, please don’t beat yourself up. We’re only human, and we need breaks.
Back when I was still competing in mixed martial arts, I would go to the gym almost six days a week and train upwards of 20-24 hours per week.
I absolutely loved it!
However, my body was a literal mess. And because I was in pain, the workouts became demotivating.
Rather than continue pushing through the pain, I gave myself a chance to take a break. I even bought a spa day to relax (recommend!).
If you find yourself feeling demotivated, it could be that you’ve put your body through so much and is time to take a break. Seriously, take a week off and enjoy some food.
Stay motivated, workout, and be happy
Above all else, in order to be motivated to workout you have to be happy. And we know that can be tough.
Remember to pat yourself on the back from time to time. You’ve done something you may have put off in the past, and you deserve credit for it.
And try your best not to compare yourself to others. The only thing you can do is compare yourself against your version yesterday. If you’re making progress, then awesome!
And remember, be happy. That’ll ultimately be the key to staying and being motivated to workout. ?
“The framework I found, which made the decision incredibly easy, was what I called — which only a nerd would call — a “regret minimization framework.” So I wanted to project myself forward to age 80 and say, “Okay, now I’m looking back on my life. I want to have minimized the number of regrets I have.” I knew that when I was 80 I was not going to regret having tried this. I was not going to regret trying to participate in this thing called the Internet that I thought was going to be a really big deal. I knew that if I failed I wouldn’t regret that, but I knew the one thing I might regret is not ever having tried. I knew that that would haunt me every day, and so, when I thought about it that way it was an incredibly easy decision.” – Jeff Bezos, Amazon
Where the regret minimization framework came from
In 2017, while backpacking through Southeast Asia and wondering what I wanted to do next in my career, I came across a book called “The Everything Store”.
My wife and I perched at the top of one of the islands next to Komodo Island
The book details Jeff Bezos’ story and how Amazon became what it is today. And there was a line said by Jeff that completely changed my life.
Regret minimization framework.
In a nutshell, he explains that he would regret this decision, or any decision, in 80 years if he had not taken it.
For most of us, we can’t imagine what 80 years feels like–let alone 10. But imagine that for a second.
Close your eyes for one minute, and ask yourself, “What things do I regret not having tried, and would I be willing to try them today?”
How I applied the regret minimization framework
For myself, there were so many things I wanted to try but just never got around to do. Some reasons were timing, work schedule, and sadly, pure laziness on my behalf.
But that was just it.
When I realized it was up to me and only me, and that if I didn’t take any action to live up to my goals and dreams, nothing would change. No action = no change = regret.
So in 2017, with both my wife and I, we decided to take a huge risk and set off to go backpacking.
We had some savings, but backpacking meant taking time off work, making no income and not building up the resume.
But when we thought about the flip side, “What if in 80 years we look back and hadn’t backpacked…Would we regret it?”
And so off we went.
Everything packed and ready to go for 4 months!
What its been like since 2017 and using the framework
It’s now 2019, a near two years since we trekked through Vietnam, visited the Angkor Wat temples, almost got run down in Indonesia (that’s a story for another time ?), and relaxed by the most beautiful Asian beaches.
Most of us tell ourselves, “Well, I can’t just leave my job” or “I don’t know, I’m unsure”.
Trust me, we said the same.
But it always goes back to Jeff’s regret minimization framework. In 80 years, will you regret this?
This line is the backbone to every decision I make now because without it, every decision is an indecisive one. I’ll constantly worry, regret, fret; but by asking myself if I would regret it in 80 years, the decision is much more clear.
So what are the things you want to try?
So I ask you, what are some of the things you’ve always wanted to do but just haven’t yet? Want to learn to code, try a side hustle, start a blog, go try your hand at mixed martial arts (ok, ok…maybe not this)?
Because every day that passes is another day that slips by, another day filled with regret.
So jump out there, have fun and make the best decisions for yourself.
“Life is struggle.” I believe that within that quote lies the most important lesson in entrepreneurship: Embrace the struggle.” ― Ben Horowitz, The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers
I read this book while I was backpacking through Southeast Asia in the scorching heat, mosquitoes poking me in all directions, trying to figure out the next steps in my career.
Up until this point, I had been working through my career in Corporate Finance, not entirely sure where I was aiming to go.
Did I want to become a CFO? No…. Did I want to run financial reports and analysis for the next 20 years? Nope….. So what was it?
The hardest things about these things is we don’t know until we try things and take those first steps. Simple, right?
But after nearly a decade in this field, I wanted to try something different. When I woke up, I wasn’t feeling excited like I did when I went to train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) or listen to “How I built this” podcasts. Then I discovered entrepreneurship.
In 2018, I decided to strike out on my own. I didn’t have much experience (if any) and wasn’t sure where to even begin. But I knew I was good at research, so away I went in reading everything. I mean…everything. Blogs, content, attending meetups, books, you name it.
Slowly, but surely, I was feeling more confident, that maybe this was possible. Don’t get me wrong, there were (and still are) days where I think, “This is just too hard.” But I remember that such a small percentage will ever take their hand at entrepreneurship, and even smaller who persevere and stay persistent.
As someone who wrestled, does BJJ and even competed in mixed martial arts, the hardest part is just taking those first steps. We’re ingrained to be afraid of the unknown. I know I was.
But this journey has taught me more than in my 10 years have in Corporate Finance. Its taught me to truly bootstrap, take on my challenges head on, and control my destiny. Because being afraid won’t take us far. Just like my first MMA competition, I was scared of what could happen physically to me — but I feared not competing at all even more.
Building confidence is a long, arduous process. It literally sometimes takes blood, sweat and tears. I’ve seen friends and family struggle through the process, questioning themselves whether the fight is worth it.
But in the end, I see them succeed in their goals. They embraced the struggle.
There are no shortcuts. Hard work is hard work, and confidence stems from that.
Embrace the struggle, and we’ll build confidence from there.
One day you wake up in the morning (or at night) prior to sunrise, peak around and notice everything is exactly the same. The bed, the desk, those socks you’ve worn for a week straight lying on the floor…all the same.
This was me.
The wake up call
In 2012, I had somewhat of a mental breakdown yet at the same time an epiphany. I realized it was 2012, and I had graduated from college in 2009. Up until this point, my life revolved around the same things: wake up, go to work, leave work, maybe workout, and then chill outside the porch deck in the apartment I was renting. Day by day, week by week.
Although I was in my mid-20’s, I thought my life was this. That I had hit my ceiling. Everything I dreamed of accomplishing I hadn’t. First, the MMA career, then the potential MBA that I so long dreamed for back in college, and, of course, maybe one day having a family.
It just felt like I was doing nothing. And guess what, I was doing nothing.
So I decided in December of 2012, I would get my proverbial sh*t together.
Time to start fresh
I decided 2013 would be a new year, a new start, and no more excuses for myself. I made a decision that I would take great care of myself, make the hard choices, and actually take action. I decided, it was up to me.
On January 4th, 2013, I joined an MMA gym (finally). I couldn’t believe–I actually joined. It was happening. And know what? I never looked back. It was the best decision because that laid the groundwork for all decisions to come.
Thereafter, I started traveling more with my now-wife throughout Asia and Europe. And eventually in 2014, I decided to propose. I realized that she was the one, that she stood by me through my worst moments and yet never left me. It actually teared me up inside because I didn’t believe I deserved it. I didn’t believe I deserved anyone’s love. But here was this wonderful person who took me in and gave me heart.
Making a decision to change yourself
Ever since that frigid December night on that bare porch desk, things have changed so dramatically–and for the better.
I’ll be a father this year. I ended up realizing my dream of fighting inside the cage. I found my love for martial arts. I founded my own business. And I’m volunteering and giving back to the community.
It hasn’t been easy–it never will be. But I believe in this wholeheartedly, that we are all responsible for our own actions and future. If we choose to want something (a goal, a purpose), we need to act and execute. No excuses, no crying.
Make a choice today
For all those out there who are contemplating next steps and are constantly worried about change, know that these feelings are normal. I still endure these today. But understand that for every day that goes by with no action is another day with no change.
So I challenge you to make a change today. Make a choice, and follow that path. Stick to the path, no matter how difficult things get. Because you will be better for it.
