You’ve experienced many things in your life, you’ve endured things you hope no one else will have to, yet you’re here still. Yes, you are still here, breathing and soaking in the sun and the chilled breeze.
Remember those times growing up as a kid wondering, “Is this normal? Do all families go through this”? Remember those times when you thought you couldn’t amount to anything because, well, no one believed in you. All you were taught was to get good grades, but there was never a goal in it.
As you sit here, typing out this post, you reflect on your life and picture those dreadful days. “Did I think I would be here today”? Of course not, you didn’t have any reason to believe.
But here you are, standing strong and proud, weathering all that life has thrown at you. You were kicked on the ground constantly, begging for life to stop. But as the kicks came coming, somewhere deep down, you realized those kicks would never stop coming. So you decided in that moment – it’s time to take charge of my life.
You decided in that pivotal moment in your life that you – and only you – could make a difference in your life. That the only person who would care the most about you would be you. So you took the time to reflect and ask, “Who am I, where am I going, am I happy, what life do I want for myself, and what will my future kids and family see in me”?
In that reflection, you wrote everything down, both good and bad. You saw that you had many flaws, but also that you had many things to be proud of. But seeing everything on paper made you realize something – you had a choice. That you could right the ship, that you could be someone different, that you could make an impact on those world. That you didn’t have to be that scared kid growing up wondering, “Is this it”?
So stand tall, stand proud you told yourself. The future is unknown, but that is what makes it so beautiful. Make that future your own. Be happy and never stop pushing.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. – Charles R. Swindoll
For many of us, life is filled with challenges, consequences and at times, amazing experiences with fulfillment. However, most of the time we focus on just the negative side of things, completely foregoing what lies ahead – our future. Trust me, I do the same.
Why life is like the stock market
Ah, the stock market. For many, the stock market is a place where we can invest our earnings in the hopes it grows overtime, leading to our eventual retirement sipping margaritas by the beach.
Unfortunately, like many, the stock market is a place that can cause panic and fear. Markets up 5%…great! One day later…markets are down 5%. Panic!
Although it’s frightening and nerve-wracking as it happens, the reality is this. It is normal. The markets, by its nature, will move up and down throughout the course of days and weeks. However, thankfully over the long-term, the markets eventually trend higher. And if it doesn’t, well then, it’s time to invest my money elsewhere :).
But just like the stock market, where stock movements can swing rapidly and unexpectedly, life behaves the exact same way. One day, you’re working a dream job earning $100k; the next, you’ve been called into the office by your boss to be notified you’ve been let go. And this is after 10 years of service, too!
Was that the plan? Was it your plan? Of course not.
But like the stock market, the long-term is what matters
Just like in the stock market, eventually markets recover and trend upwards. Just like in life, there are good moments and then there are bad ones. Sometimes, horrible ones.
Personally, my life has felt just like the stock market. My upbringing was a rather harsh one, dealt with both grief and sadness. Honestly, I believed for many years this life wasn’t for me.
When I was just 16 years old, I lost my mother. In fact, I had to be in the same room with my father at the time (he didn’t speak english) to confirm with the doctors to pull the plug. My mother was officially brain dead, and being left on life support wasn’t the best course per the doctor. As a young teen, it was traumatizing to experience.
Then in less than 2 years afterwards, my dad passed away due to a car accident. I was devastated, to say the least. I even had to prepare the funeral obligations and work with lawyers myself. I was just 18 years old. And it hit dawned on me – I was an orphan.
Up until at this point in my life, I never envisioned a world where both parents would be gone. But when my dad passed, I had a sudden revelation. I needed to grow up – and fast.
Making your choices and living by them
Despite what happened in my and my family’s life, I knew I had to continue moving forward. After my dad passed away during my freshmen year at UMass, I made a decision. I would succeed in college, that I would make my decisions and live and die by them.
This is the same code I live by to this day. Is it challenging? Of course. Can it be tiring? All the time. But even with everything that has happened, I believe we can survive and move forward. It’s not easy. In fact, I had to seek therapy at times because of the dark places my mind races to.
But like the stock market, just know that these things will pass. But also that we should take the time to be sad, to cry, to vent and let out our grievances. It’s part of human nature.
Although I try my best to stay strong and determined, I have my weaknesses too. I have days where I need to vent and just lay in bed all day. But this is normal.
We will all get there. And requesting support and reaching out to friends and family is sometimes necessary and healthy. We can’t all do it alone.
Focus on the long term
Just like the stock market, the focus is on the long-term. Day to day, week to week, life will be erratic, crazy and rage-inducing. Trust me, it will.
But just like the stock market, we’ll progress, trend higher, and reach and attain new goals.
There I was, lying on that hot, summer pavement, unconscious and still, not making a noise. This was it. My life would end before it began.
Around the time I was about three years old, like any young child who’s clueless about the rules of the road, I ran across the street and was struck by a sixteen wheeler (truck).
Of course, I have no recollection of this outside of what I was told by my brother and father. But many years later around the time I was a sophomore in high school, I found a document listing the injuries I had sustained on that day.
Here is the list: broken leg, cracked skull and fell into a coma. Surprisingly, I made it out alive from this accident.
Today, I wonder what could have been had I not been hit by that truck. Would I have been more intelligent? Brighter? Less angry? Who knows.
What I do know is that I made it out alive. I’m still living and am able to share this story with you. I’m happy yet feel unfilled. There’s so much more to do in this life, to help others live a better life, and to give back to the less fortunate.
And because of this accident, I believe I may be able to accomplish that, even if it is just one person.
Thank you for reading my story. Stay tuned as I’ll be releasing more stories of my life and hope what I share can help you in any way.
Throughout my career, when I worked with others in the office I had only one value that I wanted to uphold – to not make any one’s life any more difficult than it may already be for them. I wasn’t always perfect in this regards, and I always felt terrible when I messed up.
I didn’t know their story, what they were personally going through or the things they had to endure up to this point. Sure, we might not have agreed on certain points or issues. But regardless, I always wanted to make sure I wasn’t the reason they went home unhappy. And if I did, I’m deeply sorry.
So why did people treat others the way they did? Did they have something to release? Did they also carry a heavy burden? I grew up in a very difficult, challenging environment that made question life and people. Throughout elementary, middle and high school, I would put a smile on my face. Every. Single. Day. No one knew I was deeply angry and sad at the world.
Now and Forward
For those who have endured similar struggles, know that we have the power to make sure we don’t place the same kinds of burden onto others. It’s tough, I know. Why did I go through this when no one else had to? I asked those very same questions every day. But nothing changes from thinking this way. Rather, we move forward, find our own happiness and in the process, bring a smile to others where we can. It won’t always be easy (nothing ever truly is), but you can do it. We can do it.
If you found this post interesting, please send me a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Life is a short one and while we are here, I’m hoping we can help make it a better place. One day at a time.
